


Flowers (but it's sadder)

by confused_carmine



Category: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game), The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Assisted Suicide, Campaign: Balance (The Adventure Zone), Character Death, Crying, Death, Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition, Dungeons & Dragons Campaign, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: e060-066 The Stolen Century Parts 1-7, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Happy Ending, Flowers, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Graphic Depictions of Illness, Grief/Mourning, Happy Ending, Heartbreaking, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, I Made Myself Cry, Mental Breakdown, Murder, No Romance, Reunions, Sad, Sad Ending, Sad with a Happy Ending, Smart Angus McDonald, Spoilers for Episode: e060-066 The Stolen Century Parts 1-7, Temporary Character Death, You Have Been Warned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:55:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25322743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/confused_carmine/pseuds/confused_carmine
Summary: I rewrote an older story of mine, but it's sadder than last time.Angus stared at the seven flowers, trying not to break. He swallowed around the lump in his throat, before falling onto his knees as tears rolled off his cheeks.OrEight birds au (IPRE with Angus) and Angus ends up alone on Cycle 46.
Relationships: Angus McDonald & Everyone, Angus McDonald & Taako, Barry Bluejeans & Angus McDonald, Davenport & Angus McDonald, IPRE Crew | Starblaster Crew & Angus McDonald, Lup & Angus McDonald, Lup & Angus McDonald & Taako, Lup & Taako (The Adventure Zone), Magnus Burnsides & Angus McDonald, Magnus Burnsides & Merle Highchurch & Angus McDonald & Taako, Magnus Burnsides & Taako, Merle Highchurch & Angus McDonald, The Director | Lucretia & Angus McDonald
Comments: 9
Kudos: 50





	Flowers (but it's sadder)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [the_useless_pineapple](https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_useless_pineapple/gifts), [Cinomari](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cinomari/gifts), [Dinosaurfeathers](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dinosaurfeathers/gifts).



> i rewrote another one of my fics wow
> 
> ALSO I WROTE THE REUNION

Angus and Lucretia were the only two left on cycle 46. 

That wasn't for long, though.

Angus sat beside Lucretia, who was barely breathing. Her breath rasped in a way that it made Angus feel as though he himself couldn't breathe.

It felt like Lucretia had ice in her veins. Her hands are so frigid tucked in Angus's warm, clammy hands that it feels like he's holding the hands of death. Weight had dropped off of her body as if gravity grew strong enough to will it to, it disappeared quickly like her hair. Her teeth were beginning to pull loose from her gums, too, like they were baby teeth coming to be collected by an imaginary tooth fairy.

During their 46 years of travel, they hadn't aged, not by a second. But Angus would swear that Lucretia looked like she had aged all that time in a millisecond. Her usually tight, beautiful skin sagged over her bones, wrinkled and pulled over itself in a way that only an elder's could.

Angus stared into Lucretia's eyes, trying not to fall apart in front of her. Trying to hold back tears felt almost suffocating, and even pushing his tongue to the roof of his mouth until it ached didn't even help. It only choked him up further. It felt like someone was wrapping an arm tightly around his throat, keeping him from speaking a word or letting out a noise. His grief felt like a tiger in tight restraints.

"I love you," Angus choked out finally. His voice rolled off of his tongue and soft and raspy and barely audible. It made Lucretia's eyes flicker to him, and a smile spread across her lips. She would give Angus's hand a squeeze if she was able.

"I love you too, Angus," she said. She didn't want to die on Angus—he was so young, too young to be alone, but she didn't underestimate him for even a moment. Angus is a flame of passion, and his light gives them all the strength that they need to fight even in the darkest of times.

Alas, Angus is only a candlelight, not a wildfire.

Angus sucked in a shaky breath and watched as the smile left from Lucretia's face as her muscles relaxed.

Her final breath was sickening. It was dry, choked, and it almost sounded as though she hadn't breathed at all. Angus sat like that, holding Lucretia's limp, stiff, inhumanly cold hand until he was able to move from his position beside her bed.

The reality of the situation didn't settle on him until that night, when he was standing in front of the bathroom mirror.

It settled on him like a falling building, really. It was hard, painful, heavy and unexpected. It felt like someone was sitting on his chest—he couldn't breathe, he couldn't talk, all he could do was scream and cry.

It's not _fair._ Why did all of them have to be taken away? It hurt so bad, and he felt stupid for thinking so. He can't take this, he can't do this alone, he can't fight this battle on his own. He's just a child.

Angus's fist meets the glass of the mirror in moments, before he can even comprehend it. He keeps doing that, punching the glass over and over and over. It breaks to shards under his fist, and it feels so easy now, breaking the mirror under his now bloody fist.

_Merle was the first to go out of all of them._

_It made sense, what with his older age and his weaker immune system. That doesn't mean it hurt any less, oh God did it hurt._

_Angus remembered Merle clutching his chest, begging Pan for just a breath of air. Oh god, it hurt, his ribs and his back and his chest ached every breath that he took. He was desperate for some ending to his horrible, horrible pain._

_And then he's begging for death, begging for release to this horror. It hurts so bad, he'd rather be dead. "Please,_ he's begging to Magnus and Taako and Barry and whoever's listening, "just end my suffering, it_ hurts _."_

_Taako was finally the one to do it. He let Merle say some last words, give people goodbye hugs, stuff like that. He didn't want to do this, he was trembling, shaking because the last thing he wanted to do was kill Merle._

_Angus still remembers Merle's last words to him_.

_"I know I don't act like it or tell ya often or whatever, but I love ya, kid. Never forget that."_

_And then he was gone to a quick flash from the end of Taako's wand._

_Barry was next._

_When Barry had fallen ill, he tried desperately to hide it, even when he suffered from constant fainting bouts several times a day. No, he wasn't coughing from a deadly illness, he just had a tickle in his throat. Oh, the weight loss? That's just from working out. The vomit? Oh, it's just a bit of anxiety. The blood in the handkerchiefs he coughed into? Oh, nono, that's not blood—it's probably just jam that clung to the back of his throat. Unfortunately, he underestimated the cunning of Boy Detective, who had put the puzzle pieces together before the other birds could connect the dots with the information that they had. Barry was scarily good at hiding his state of health._

_Barry was dying._

_Angus remembered Barry hugging Lup and whispering something in her ear before he went limp in her hold. He remembered how you could see the moment that Lup's heart shattered like fragile china, how she was on the ground cradling Barry in moments. No, no, no, he'll make it, he's strong. He can't die yet, he just can't. Oh god, oh_ no, _not Barry..._

_And then, oh Gods, the twins. The death of Taako was where things really turned for the worst—that is, if they hadn't already._

_Taako had caught the worst case of whatever illness was plucking them away from life one by one. His cough was violent, it wracked his small body and made him see stars in the corners of his eyes. Blood trickled out past his lips, down his chin and onto the ground, and it showed how his lungs were dying. He couldn't take how horribly it hurt._

_Lup died of a broken heart. Without Taako, she's broken—Lup and Taako are two cheeks of one ass, for Christ's sake, without each other they're nothing. Lup didn't catch anything, she didn't cause her own death, she died without a cause other than grief weighing on her so much that it killed her._

_Davenport was so, so stressed when he caught the illness. He stayed far, far away from the remaining birds, he couldn't risk them catching the illness and dying from it as well. Oh god, he couldn't._

_They only knew that Dav had died when they heard his dry coughing stop, and a thud on the ground._

_Magnus's death his harder than a mighty asteroid, it knocked Angus into the dirt and shoved his face in the dirt. The big, strong warrior that was Magnus was reduced to a shuddering, coughing, sickly mess. He wretched into a wastebasket sobbing quietly from the pain. Angus and Lucretia took care of him (they took precautions—wearing masks and gloves and such). Angus remembered how Magnus weakly wrapped his arms around Angus's small body. It broke Angus's heart to mentally compare such a weak hold to Magnus's usual bear hugs._

_"I love you, kid. Stay strong for me, 'kay? You too, Lucretia. I love you guys."_

_And then he was gone, just like the rest of them. All of the birds were gone except for he and Lucretia, and there was nothing he could do to stop it. As soon as he heard Lucretia begin to cough into her shoulder, he knew he was doomed._

Angus saw his tear-streaked face in the millions of shards in the mirror. He couldn't stay here, he couldn't stay and have a mental breakdown. He decided to exit, to walk off just a little ways away to a flowerbed.

Angus stared at the hundreds of flowers, trying not to break. He swallowed around the lump in his throat, before falling onto his knees as tears rolled off his cheeks.

There were only seven different flowers, but they were beautiful to Angus. Just like his friends were.

Red poppies, tiger lilies, red roses, bluebells, morning glories, forget-me-nots, apple blossoms—all of them representing his long lost loved ones. Oh, how he mourned for them. 

They would have loved these flowers, too. Especially Merle and Lucretia and Magnus, oh, they'd adore this...

Angus curled into a ball in front of the flowers, putting his head in his crossed arms, and he cried himself to sleep like that, under the watchful eyes of his friends. He was going to be okay.

\--

Angus unfortunately wasn't able to save the plane. It was swallowed up by the hunger. Thankfully, though, he'd gotten out alive.

Once he left the plane, his friends were back, safe and unscathed, and they were so, so happy to see him.

Angus broke into tears as soon as he saw them. He ran up and engulfed them all in a big hug, sobbing out of relief and desperation. He had never been happier and more relieved to see someone. 

He was immediately hugged back, given kisses to his face and reassuring words that they wouldn't be gone again, he'd never be alone.

Angus McDonald would never be alone.


End file.
